Film Review: The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey (3D IMAX not 48fps sadly)

First and foremost, don't go into this expecting the Lord of the Rings mk2. This is the Hobbit, Tolkien's first venture into Middle Earth intended as a children's story that became so much more. The book focuses on Bilbo Baggins, Ian Holm in LOTR, this time played amazingly well by Martin Freeman of The Office and Sherlock fame. Bilbo is forced along on a quest by Gandalf, Sir Ian McKellen back in top form, to aid 13 dwarfs reclaim their land of Erebor, as well as all the gold that lies there.

With the 3D, Peter Jackson creates a landscape painting instead of a film, with broad and subtle brush strokes instead of shots. The 3D works exceptionally well in the dark, dank caves where Gollum dwells and the huge underground Goblin kingdom. However, although I didn't stay for the credits, I personally think that New Zealand should get a credit as it's this lush and vastly diverse country really brings the 3D to life. A highlight of this use of 3D is a chase scene involving the baker's dozen of dwarfs with Gandalf and Bilbo running from a pack of Wargs and Orcs across great plains, using the animal-loving wizard Radagast as a distraction. The sweeping cameras along with the excellent CGI really brings Middle Earth back to the screen in full life even after having enjoyed the warm scenes of the Shire.

At a running time of 169 minutes (compared to the Fellowship's running time of 178 minutes) you'd expect Journey to feel heavy and long, whereas, in my personal opinion, it is Jackson's best paced attempt at Middle Earth, with action scenes strategically placed just as the film starts to show signs of slowing down. This isn't to say that the film is fast paced, it just doesn't feel as slow as the Rings film could. This may come as a surprise when you think that one book, only 310 pages long in total (maps included), is split into 3 films the length of the 3 Rings films, which were each a book. However Jackson and his writing team have included a sub-plot that links heavily to the story of the Rings that wasn't mentioned in the Hobbit book, but they've drawn this from the bigger picture of Middle Earth, taking bits and bobs from the Appendices located in the back of the Rings books. Personally, this is a genius decision by Jackson and his team, as in the book, Gandalf totally disappears for about 100 pages with no explanation at all. One minutes he's there, the next he's not. Here, we understand his need to leave, although he doesn't yet in this one, as it helps create a world and not just a story happening. This is where Tolkien's genius stands out. He creates languages and cultures and whole histories for his characters, making them believable people with lives outside of the book or film.

The performances in general are brilliant, as you'd expect, but the star is rather appropriately the hobbit himself, Martin Freeman. I'm pretty sure that the above video was his audition tape, as Bilbo is, to be cliché about this, the role he was born to play. Freeman is Bilbo. He's the words and thoughts of Tolkien in a human form, and plays him with ease and fun. He lights up the screen, and his confrontation with Andy Serkis' Gollum is the unquestionable best scene of this film. It's the highlight of the book, and Jackson, Freeman and Serkis do it justice. This was the first scene Freeman shot as Bilbo, but it really doesn't show. It's as if he'd been playing him for his whole life. In the scene, Bilbo and Gollum have a game of riddles, winner either escaping or eating the other, accordingly. It's funny, beautifully shot for such a dark and wet cave, and Serkis is fantastic again as Gollum, who benefits from an upgrade in technology which allows greater detail in his performance. The humour and chemistry comes out between the two, and it creates a fantastic atmosphere of both peril and each character in their comfort some somewhat. I'd go and see the film again just for this scene.

Freeman isn't the only highlight. The dwarfs are fun and you really grow to like them, and I'm sure you'll love them by the end of the second film. The chemistry between all of the actors shines as brightly as the Sun, and it's clear that they were having the time of their lives shooting the film. Richard Armitage is going to get plenty of attention for his performance as Thorin Oakenshield, who is at the forefront of the dwarfs gang. Thorin, in the book, is greedy and vengeful and rather bitter, and Armitage plays it this way, keeping Thorin's anger and rather closed nature, but playing him with bravado and force.

Once again, Howard Shore's score will rouse everybody and be stuck in people's heads for a long time after the film, much like his themes used in the Lord of the Rings. The songs that are sung in the book stay this time, unlike in Rings where much of the singing was removed before shooting with the exception of Pippin's song. I'm incapable of not repeating myself when describing the songs, but the dwarfs' which they sing in Bag End is particularly good, raising spirits and glasses while also feeling like somewhat of a foreshadowing of the dangers to come. Where some might consider the songs gimmicky and childish, for me they completed Tolkien's world and gave it some much needed light-heartedness.

In my opinion, An Unexpected Journey shouldn't be compared to The Fellowship Of The Ring as it is naturally lighter in tone and funnier, but is purposefully brought down and slightly darker by Jackson just to keep it in league with the Rings films. It's an equal in every way and is genuinely fantastic. It certainly has the rewatchable factor that the Rings films have, and I know for a fact that people will be wanting to play riddles games after seeing it done by Bilbo and Gollum.

For anyone put off from this film or any of The Hobbit films, they shouldn't be. It's a different beast to Rings, and should be treated differently. Certain stylistic differences and similarities make sure that we keep this in mind, but all in all it's great fun. Bring on Round 2!

Score: 9/10




Special mention: Having seen this in IMAX, I was lucky enough to see the first 8 or 9 minutes of the Star Trek sequel, Star Trek Into Darkness, due to be released next year. If that is anything to go by, it may be one of the best films for a while. Michael Giacchino's score is already garnering a lot of praise, deservedly, and the special-effects department have outdone themselves again. Without going into spoiler territory, if you like Indiana Jones, you'll love this preview. I can't wait for the full film. I'm really annoyed that I have to wait to be honest. AHHHH! It looks so good.

The Blog that Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now

Well this fourth blog seems long overdue to some, rather unnecessary to most (probably), but I've restrained from writing one without anything to actually talk about.
Firstly, as most of you will know, the month of November has been renamed Movember as part of a male cancer awareness scheme, more specifically prostate and testicular cancer (http://uk.movember.com/about/). Now, as a young upstart with some facial fuzz to grow, I decided to take part this year (last year I took part, but didn't actually decide to, it just happened mostly due to laziness). As of the writing of this blog, the tash has been pretty tragic but it stays until December 1st. Anyway, I also had an Otley Run to prepare for, which had a comic-book/cartoon character theme going on. Seizing the opportunity to geek out whilst also wearing a suit, I decided to go as Commissioner Gordon from Batman (picture below). Easy costume: I have a suit, I have the glasses (3D glasses without lenses) so all I need is police stuff and a tash. "Perfect excuse for Movember", I foolishly thought to myself. Learning from last year's proud/disgusting entry for the November slot on the Chinstrap calender for 2012, I thought "Surely a year on, my moustache will grow more than last time, as well as some long overdue cheek action". Well, I was so wrong. I could've easily got a job as an ignorant french waiter with the pencil I had going on. Very far from the proud caterpillar that sits on Commissioner Gordon's top lip. I therefore bought a fake tash from the local fancy dress shop. I've been proudly sporting it at home since Saturday's Otley Run when my housemates aren't around. I'd have liked to have tried to convince you that what you see below (me, not Gary Oldman's depiction of the Commissioner) is my Movember effort, but lo! it is not.

What is worse is that not only for half of the night (the sober half, sadly) I had it on upside down, but once we got to the O2 Academy after having abandoned the Otley Run, they had a special Movember night, giving out free fake moustaches to everybody. I no longer stood out amongst costumed people as a man in a suit with a fake tash and lense-less 3D glasses. Oh well...

Also, as you should be able to see from the above picture (if you don't....wow) I have had my wig chopped. The sheep has been sheared, and I've got to say, it was the weirdest experience I've ever had at a barbers. Great though. Here's what happened. After having trudged around Leeds looking for a barbers still open at 4:30pm which didn't have a gay Mediterranean-looking gentleman admiring himself rather than his client in the mirror, I looked on tinternet on my phone and found one on google. I didn't google those exact specifications, but it was along those lines if I remember. Taking another 20 minutes of walking around Leeds, not realising how big it was, I found it. However, once sat down, I got conversing with the barber, as you do, but stupidly let slip the lie of me having been recommended this specific barbers. I didn't realise that this certain barber seemed to know everybody who comes in there and their grandma! (I actually wouldn't have been surprised at all if he knew my Grandma. Everybody knows my Grandma) Anyway, he started trying to squeeze out of me more info about this recommendation. Instead of making up some John Doe from a few months back, I said my anonymous friend found this barbers on tinternet and read that it was brilliant. After being squeezed more than a lemon, I managed to convince him that it might not have actually been this place, and that I'm just strange. So it worked out well, except for the fact that while he was interrogating me like a Guantanamo inmate he was cutting my hair with the ol' cut-throat razor technique. I've seen this technique before....erm, oh yeah...

But as you can see I'm alive and not a pastried good. Actually, he was bloody good at his job, and did rather a fine job I think. He also shaved me, with an electric razor (THANK GOD!).

Finally, what about this rain?! P*****g it down down here in Leeds. I'd invest in an umbrella but money's currently shorter than a midget's little finger. And Christmas is coming (yayyyyyyy!) so I'm assuming my family is expecting some form of gift (feel free to leave suggestions in the comment box, dear family. Nothing over a fiver though.)

Film Review: Skyfall

Let's get things straight here. Skyfall isn't the best Bond film ever. Personally it's a toss-up between Goldeneye, Live and Let Die, The Man With The Golden Gun and Casino Royale. However, Skyfall is definitely the best looking Bond film ever. Just gorgeous to look at. It's a Michelin Star restaurant for the eyes. A sequence in Shanghai highlights this, with black being the most predominant colour, but the neon lights of Shanghai's skyscrapers create a colour pallet similar to a night club. Reflections that cleverly nod to the final sequence in TMWTGG play with your eyes while in the climax, black comes into the forefront again as it drains the frame of most colour, except for a huge fire in the background. Without delving into spoiler territory, it's a house. A big house. You can actually see it in the trailer for the film anyway.

Skyfall is possibly the most British Bond film yet. The last two Daniel Craig encounters were directed by a New Zealander, and then a German. The iconic Bond opening credits song was sung by Americans, firstly Chris Cornell for Casino Royale and then Alicia Keys and Jack White for Quantum of Solace. Here, we have British national treasure Sam Mendes taking directorial duties and British national treasure Adele belting out another classic for the opening credits. Following the death of Desmond Llewellyn in 1999, John Cleese had a crack at replacing him as Q for 2 films, but it just didn't feel right. Llewellyn had been the iconic Quartermaster in 17 Bond films. If you're gonna recast the character, you have to start at the beginning again. Enter young Ben Whishaw, last seen (by me at least) in the excellent BBC mini-series The Hollow Crown as King Richard II. Whishaw's Q isn't so much the gadget man as the geek, proving himself to be quite the computer hacker to rival that of Javier Bardem's Silva. Much of the film is spent on the shores of Blighty, and  the best of British is shown. Porcelain bulldogs on desks in offices overlooking the Thames, the Union Flag waving over the London skyline, the Tube, the Met Police, the one-lane road up to Scotland. Ok, maybe that's not something quintessentially British, but the scene where M buys some Greggs' sausage rolls for Bond's lunch was cut.

This, the 23rd Bond film in the series, is possibly the most personal one to Bond himself. You learn an awful lot about his past, and also what his retirement plans are (he doesn't really have any which don't involve alcohol). This emotional core to the film is rather unique then, as the last few Bond films haven't quite packed the emotional punch that is often needed in an action film. And the overall premise of the film is rather unique as, I feel, it is the first film in a long time where Bond isn't in complete control of the situation. Usually you have Bond briefed about the villain, what are his likes/dislikes, what morning paper he reads, what are his weaknesses, how easy it is to push him into his own trap (lava, sharks, piranhas etc.); but this time, Bond is forever one step behind Bardem's Silva. And he deserves to be, albeit through the fault of his superiors more than his own. Silva is a deliciously Bondian villain. His scarred past, his brushes with MI6, his defining physical feature, his crazy, out of this world hideout; it's all there for Bardem to just gobble up in his path. He chews the scenery, spits it out and chews it again (he probably does with teeth like that), but never too much. He never goes full Pacino, but you can see a bit of Joker in him. An uneasiness that really does affect the audience. Silva's not fully sympathetic, but he's definitely one who you can love to hate.

The real star of the film, though, is Judy Dench's M. Returning for her 7th Bond outing, Skyfall is the film where you actually learn about her. You realise she's not just Bond's boss. She is very vulnerable in her Ivory Tower, and Dench plays this vulnerability perfectly. The husband that's very briefly mentioned in passing in Casino Royale has died, and the loneliness in M's life is plain to see. Bond is all she has left, and she doesn't do the best of jobs in keeping him.

Sam Mendes does a brilliant job as director, but a big shout-out must go to his cinematographer Roger Deakins, who has worked with Mendes on Jarhead and Revolutionary Road previously. Deakins uses the camera like a painter of modern art. Sharp contrasts between colour and blackness really make some of the scenes memorable for all the right reasons. Chris Corbould, special effects supervisor on a Bond film for the 10th time, does a fantastic job in restraining from the use of CGI, particularly for a spectacular scene in the London Underground. The soundtrack by long time Mendes collaborator, Thomas Newman, is unlike what most people would recognise as typical Newman. Watch the video below to the left to hear Newman's iconic motif for American Beauty. Subtlety is his speciality, with atmosphere and mood being his main characteristics, pulling at the heartstrings and rousing emotions. He also did the soundtracks for Finding Nemo and the Shawshank Redemption, for example. Here, however, he delivers a soundtrack which is worthy of any Bond film, using his subtlety less playfully than usual, creating atmosphere and tension, making it known that the stakes are high and things are getting desperate. It's lean, modern and bloody fantastic, using the classic Bond theme sparsely and carefully so as not to overuse it. Bombastic at times, but never deafening, it fits perfectly into the grand scheme of things.

Skyfall isn't perfect.It isn't the best Bond film ever as some are claiming. It is brilliant, even if the classic Bond girl roles, played here by Naomie Harris and Bérénice Marlohe, are slightly underwritten, but they are full of intrigue and mystery, particularly Harris' Eve. Skyfall is truly thrilling stuff and one of the most Bond-y Bond films for a long time, probably since Goldeneye. It really packs an emotional punch, and has a heart which has been lacking for some time in the longest film franchise in the world. In a year which has been oh so British, Bond has once again done Queen and Country proud.

8.5/10

Blog 3: Bruges

Bruges, in the immortal words of Ralph Fiennes, is a f*****g fairytale. He's not wrong. It's honestly one of, if not the best cities I've ever been to, and I've been to quite a few. It may have just been because of the situation, but it was magical and wonderful and a f*****g fairytale.

Here's the situation for those who don't follow football or watch the news. Just under 5000 Geordies travelled to the small city in Belgium to watch Newcastle United. The main square in Bruges was flooded in black and white by 2pm on Thursday, with a 6pm kick off leaving far too much time for drinking and shenanigans. The atmosphere around town was one of party and celebration, with shops and bars getting the best business in one day than they've ever had, and the police having a quiet and fun day with only 20 arrests in total on the Newcastle side.

Having got the ferry from Newcastle to Amsterdam, we (myself and the group) drove from Amsterdam to Bruges in 2 separate cars, and arrived in Bruges at different times thanks to the other car following what they thought to be us, only for it to be a Dutch car cleverly disguised as us. The crafty bastards. Meeting up in Bruges' main square, black and white jester hats on our heads, we had the local delicacies of stews and beer. One beer in particular proved to be more popular among us than the 1217 others that a waiter told us about, and this one was a pink in colour Cherry Beer. I hate beer. Disgusting stuff. But this one didn't have the hoppy taste that I detest, instead was nice and fruity without being sickly sweet and alcopoppy. Only later did that same waiter tell us that the Belgians call that "gay beer". Oops. Looking back, a pink beer is pretty gay.

Amsterdam, however, couldn't have been more different from Bruges in terms of atmosphere and general safety when crossing roads. Yes they both have canals, and yes they both have old, quaint buildings, but at least you could drive around Bruges and the only thing you had to worry about was parking. Amsterdam is a death trap. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice place, but when you're not worrying about getting squished by a tram, you're getting harrassed and beaten around by cyclists. I fecking hate cyclists. They don't even wear helmets, and yet they'd probably blame you if theitr side hit your swinging right foot and they were thrown from their saddle. The twits. Some of us did go to the Rijkmuseum and saw some actual Rembrandts and Vermeers, among others, which I would recommend.

In terms of the ferry and life on the sea, I was fine. Some not so fine, but we all got our sea-legs eventually. I, personally, still have them which isn't the best when you're on land, but I'm pretty sure that I'll get my land-legs back soon enough. Just to make it clear, google the expression sea-legs, because I don't want to give you the impression that I have prosthetics limbs and somehow lost my land legs and I'm forced to wear my sea legs which make me sway from side to side. I have my original legs, the ones I was born with.

Glad that's cleared up.

On a sadder note, it's very disappointing that my charity hasn't received any donations of winter clothing from you, the reader. I got a nice bag of supplies from my grandparents (the sweeter, chocolatier stuff is nearly gone already) but still no gloves or woolly hats. I'm living off Fray Bentos pies at the moment though, they're lush. I'm actually eating one right now. See --->

Anyway, that's it for this week, but please also take some time to read my film reviews of Argo, Ben Affleck's new one, and I'll be posting one of the new James Bond flick, Skyfall, shortly. So stay tuned Internet!

Film Review: Argo

When you saw the name Ben Affleck attached to a film 5 years or more ago, you'd immediately groan and think to yourself "Where has his career gone? So much potential". Pearl Harbour was a career low for Affleck. After that came the disappointing Daredevil, followed by the embarrassing Gigli and suddenly one of the potential mega-stars of the Noughties had faded out of the limelight and drifted into the shadows. In 2007, however, Affleck returned to the limelight but in a more hushed sense of anticipation with his first feature-length directorial effort, the excellent Gone Baby Gone, starring his younger brother Casey. 2010 saw Affleck gain even more plaudits for his second directorial effort, The Town, which is one of the best heist films since Heat (1995). Argo, which is directed and stars Affleck, like The Town, is a third consecutive home run.

In 1979, the American embassy in Iran is invaded by revolutionaries who capture several Americans, taking them as hostage. Six manage to escape and flee to the Canadian embassy. Affleck stars as CIA exfiltration expert Tony Mendez, who is tasked with finding a way to get these six Americans out of Iran without arousing the suspicions of the Iranians, who are more than eager to kill the hostages they've taken from the embassy. Mendez (Affleck) comes up with the rather ingenious solution of creating a fake Canadian film that is looking to shoot in Iran. The film they make up, Argo, is a sci-fi film which is pretty much a rip-off of Star Wars. With the help of some contacts in Hollywood, played brilliantly by John Goodman and Alan Arkin, Mendez proceeds with creating the ruse, and goes to Iran posing as the films executive producer going to meet with six of the more senior crew members. The Iranians get suspicious and tensions inevitably rise both within the group, who aren't convinced that the plan will work, and with the Iranians, making the second and third acts the most nerve-racking, edge of the seat stuff I've personally watched in ages.

From the opening sequence you just know that Argo is going to be a good film. As soon as the screen goes black and the end credits roll, you know you've just watched one of the best political thrillers for years. It's one of the fastest-paced films you'll see for a while, but it never loses track of the story. This is thanks to the direction of Affleck. If The Town showed that Affleck was a capable director, Argo shows that he is a brilliant director and whatever he chooses as his next project, I'll be first in line for it. Argo is tight, streamlined and just plain brilliant. All of the performances are amazing, but special note has to go to Scoot McNairy, whose role could easily have been the stereotypical 'naysayer' who jeopardises the group in someway, but McNairy's performance is admirable as he takes charge of the group and plays what could have been a very annoying character in a way that draws the attention away from Affleck's Mendez and gives a real sense of humanity and fear to McNairy's Stafford. Alan Arkin is fantastic, as he always is, as film producer Lester Siegel, giving comic relief to the proceedings with some brilliant one-liners, even giving the film a new title that only people who've seen it will appreciate. Bryan Cranston's CIA man Jack O'Donnell is hard-boiled and loyal to Mendez and brilliant to watch at times.

There is hardly a foot put wrong throughout the film. From the light-hearted moments when the six Americans are trying to pass themselves off as a film crew in a busy Tehran bazaar to the tenser moments which follow, Argo is a clever and very funny film at times, but from the first minute you're hooked. It grabs hold and never lets go for a second. What makes this film even better is that fact that it's based on a true story, and that the CIA actually did go through with this plan. It's bonkers and would seem totally far-fetched on paper, but on film Affleck pulls it off with flair and gusto, leaving the photo reel at the end of the film for the audience to wipe the sweat off their brow and let their heart rate lower. As I said before, whatever Affleck directs next, I'm there.

10/10

Another week in the life of a student

Well, having survived the journey into the abyss, or wearside as it's rather incorrectly known to the general public, I'm back in Leeds freezing my arse off due to 'costcutting' measures. It's very hard to type this actually, considering my fingers are purple from the cold, but I'll give it a shot.

I've got to say I'm satisfied with the result at the weekend (1-1 for anyone who doesn't have a TV or Internet) but having experienced one of the best defensive performances, and performances by a captain, in my lifetime I can't help but feel we should've won. Also, it wasn't a red card. Don't even try and argue that it was, because you will be shouted in the face by me calling you a sympathiser, and nobody wants that now do they? I don't want to divulge too much into the football, cos to be frank I could be here for days. I am not frank, however. I am Will, therefore I will not divulge.

At the moment I'm listening to the White Album, of course by the Beatles. I'm not sure why I'm listening to it, when there are many better Beatles albums to listen to, but I'm just giving it another chance as I believe everything deserves another chance. Take Danny Welbeck for instance. He was at sunderland (boooo!) on loan from Salford Reds, then returned to the Greater Manchester team. He could have moved elsewhere and been redeemed in my eyes, but I suppose leaving the Dark World behind and going back to Salford is some form of redemption, and now I appreciate his talents. He could be a great player and I hope to see him shine someday.

Now as you may or may not (mayn't? man't? mouldn't?) know I am a big comic book, and specifically superhero fan. The Norse god of thunder, Thor, is now more renowned for being a Marvel comics superhero. His 2011 debut film was pretty good (a solid 7/10), but his popularity boosted dramatically in 2012's The Avengers, which if you read my first blog is now one of my favourite films ever. On the back of that, Marvel is producing Thor 2, or Thor: The Dark World. I'm really looking forward to this as it proves two things: mackems are not human, as the Dark World in question is in fact an alien world; and that the whole world hates mackems and will pay to see anybody, but in this case Thor kill/slay them. They are scum, no doubt about that, and it's nice to see Hollywood listening to the public.

By the way, if you feel so inclined as to comment not to my face about this blog, then please leave a comment underneath if you can get that thing to work, or just comment on facebook or twitter or whatever. Also, if you love the blog, of course you do, then feel free to send some form of thank you gift, preferably some gloves or a nice woolly hat, or maybe a microwave (we still don't have one in the house and I'm dying to have one of those microwavable choccy puddings) then don't hesitate to contact me asking for my address.

Till next time...

Will's First Blog

Hi there. I've fancied writing a blog for quite a while now, but laziness combined with more laziness with a hint of stuff on TV has delayed me until now, when I have nothing really to do, and there's nothing on TV. When I say I have nothing to do, it shouldn't be taking literally, but more by it's student-meaning, as in: I have plenty to do, but can't be arsed in the slightest to do it. I'm studying Italian and World Cinema (glorified film studies) so most of my time is spent emulating Italian pre-schoolers or sitting on my arse watching such brilliant films as Dracula In Pakistan or whatever Lars von Trier has decided to spew out of his mad head.
Anyway, most of my blogs will be about one of three subjects, or all 3, depending on how busy my week has been. These 3 subjects are my beloved Newcastle United, films (films in general usually, but a heavy focus on my favourite films at the moment) and finally, music (i.e. my favourite bands/songs/albums at the moment).
Right the, the introduction over, let's get to it.

Next Friday I'll be going home for the first time in about 4 weeks, which isn't that long a time, but it feels like bloody ages, and this return is much to the delight of my mum, bless her. However, family is being put aside for that weekend, and the sunday roast will be put on hold. On Sunday 21st October 2012, Newcastle United F.C. along with a few thousand of their fans, myself included, will be putting on the kevlar vests and wearing the best gas masks money can buy as we are travelling into the lion's den (no offence to any lions reading this blog) that is scumderland, and entering the S.O.S. (stadium of s***e). Just to make things clear, this certain strand of human being doesn't deserve capital letters, so I won't be giving them any. As Obi-Wan Kenobi said in Star Wars: "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious". In the film he's referring to the spaceport of Mos Eisley, but George Lucas, writer and director of the Star Wars films, was obviously writing about scumderland. Venturing there is not something a smart person would do willingly, unless they are bound by a strong sense of duty, such as the Newcastle United fans bravely sacrificing their sense of smell for a few hours. In fact, journeying to said hive draws strong parallels to Dante's Inferno. In this classic of not just Italian but World Literature, Dante journeys into Hell, unfortunately having to go further into Hell in order to leave it. What a dilemma! This story compares to my forthcoming journey into hell on earth next sunday, except Virgil won't be my escort, instead the brave Northumbrian Police Force will be protecting, well trying, myself and my fellow Geordies into hell on earth, getting deeper and deeper and further and further into despair and pity and utter, utter scum, until finally it is time to leave. That is the Inferno bit. Purgatory is the coach journey back, where, depending on the result, will either be depressing as owt or incredibly joyous and fun. Heaven, or Paradise, is obviously re-entering the haven that is Newcastle Upon Tyne.

As you can tell I'm excited for next Sunday, but so bloody nervous you wouldn't believe.

Anyway, that's the football bit over and done with. In terms of films, the past few weeks have brought about a very mixed bag of quality of film. As part of my course this year, I have to watch a varied line-up ranging from Dirty Harry and Blade Runner to Blacula and Dracula In Pakistan. The latter two films are exactly what they sound like: Dracula relocated/changed into a different cultural and social environment. Now, Dracula In Pakistan (official title: The Living Corpse; but that doesn't sum it up as well as it's 'cult' title) was the first ever X rated film in Pakistan. I watched it and wondered how could it possibly have been X rated. There was barely any blood, no actual scares and cartoon bats drawn on the walls. Until, however, Dracula gave his bride a baby (well, a doll) to feed on instead of one of Dracula's friends. That's Human Centipede level of weird, but even so it was tame and very pastiche, so I didn't enjoy that film at all as a horror, and even as a comedy it was shocking. Blacula though was brilliant. It wasn't a fantastic film, but as a film made during the blaxploitation era in the 1970s, it was brill. There were jive-talking caricatures of what african-americans in the 70s were like, and Dracula himself (the actual Dracula in this was the 18th century count) who bites an african emissary trying to stop the slave trade, and lovingly christens him Blacula, due to his dark-coloured skin and being bitten by Dracula. Clever, deep stuff. But the film as a whole is a good examination of racial tensions and relationships in 70s USA. There's even a 'blacks only' funeral directors. However their is little in terms of racism and heavy examinations on it in the film. The filmmakers scratch the surface, but just let the film have fun with the topic of a disco-loving Dracula. It is good fun, I really enjoyed it somehow, and it was much, much better than Dracula In Pakistan.

I'm really looking forward to the new James Bond film, Skyfall. It's out in 2 weeks time, and reviewers are saying it's the best Bond yet. Whoa there! Steady girl. Did I just read what I think I read? Yes, yes I did. But that is one hell of a statement to make. I love Bond films. Goldeneye = amazing. Casino Royale = fantastic. Live And Let Die = my favourite, alongside The Man With The Golden Gun. There are some genuinely brilliant pieces of filmmaking in the history of Bond. And if Skyfall really is the best Bond ever, and I have faith that it could, what with Sam Mendes at the helm, Javier Bardem as the villain, and Judi Dench given a meatier role than previously, then it could just be the film of the year. Now THAT is saying something. I still can't decide which is better: The Avengers or The Dark Knight Rises. Both had enormous tasks ahead of them, and both succeeded in producing quality films that aren't just sequels to a franchise, but solid films in the own right, worthy of any award they're nominated for. Brilliant films, instant classics that got your heart racing, your head thinking (but not too much) and your whole body just loving every second of it. It's rare that you get one major blockbuster leaving you feel fully satisfied yet wanting so much more, but two in the same year is even more rare. I love films. I love superhero films, when they're good. And boy, were they good this year.

If the world was to end in 2012, at least it can wait till I've seen the Hobbit a few times and got the blu-ray of  TDKR. Please? Or just don't end? That's probably better.